Fate: Okay

Chapter 20
Going to classes was another one of those routine things. I walked into class, sat in my chair, and left when it was over but I was never really there. I knew my eyes were glossed over as I attempted not to think of the past and I didn’t hear a word the teacher said. I knew I was failing rapidly but nothing in life mattered anymore.

I walked out of my class that day, not seeing anything that was in front of me. My feet just seemed to know where I was going and my brain didn’t need to pay attention to anything but the numb nothingness that was my life.

I spun as someone tapped me on the shoulder, surprised. Everyone but Angela had been avoiding me for the past month as though I was the plague.

“Bella?” a sweet voice asked.

I looked at the girl standing in front of me. She was a few inches shorter than me and while she wasn’t fat, she wasn’t exactly skinny but the way she held herself and the confidence oozing off of her like a virus made her seem taller and skinny. Her skin was the same russet color as Jacob’s but her hair was a bleached blond, obviously not natural. Her nose was a bit too large for her face but it gave her character and made her unique. She wasn’t one of those gorgeous, notice-me girls but if you took the time to notice her, she was quite pretty.

The monster inside wanted to attack her as I noticed the tiny diamond on her finger – the same diamond that I had worn for months.

“What do you want?” I tried to growl but my voice was weak from a month of endless depression.

“We need to talk, Bella,” she said, her voice deep but sweet at the same time. “I’m Marlana.”

“Why do I have to talk to you?” I said. “Why should I?”

“I feel so horrible,” Marlana said. “I want you to know that I never meant to steal Jacob away from you. In fact, I insisted that he forget about me and stay with you but he couldn’t. That’s just the way imprinting works. I just need to know that you forgive me.”

Tears pricked behind my eyes and a lump formed in my throat as her words picked at the whole in my chest. The hot wetness spilled out of my eyes and I tried to wipe it away with the back of my hand as though I was rubbing my eye before she noticed but it was to no anvil. Her mouth opened in surprise and her eyes grew wide with apology.

“Oh my god,” she squealed, reaching into her purse immediately. “I’m so sorry, Bella. I didn’t mean to make you cry. Here, take this.”

She handed me a tissue and I took it from her, grateful. The sight of my tears sent most people running, knowing that one of my horrid outburst that I just couldn’t seem to control was coming on quickly. Even though she was the reason I was like this, I couldn’t help but see why Jacob could have fallen in love with her so quickly.

“Sorry, sorry,” Marlana said again.

“It’s ok,” I said, for once being able to stop my tears from turning into racking sobs.

“No, I mean, I’m sorry for everything,” she said. “You’re this way – depressed and sad – all because of me. I shouldn’t have gone to that wedding. I know I shouldn’t have. If he had never seen me, neither of us would be in this mess.”

I forced a smile but that just made more tears spill out of my eyes. I took a deep breath, willing the hysteria that was sure to be coming to stay away.

“I guess it’s not really your fault,” I said, “but I still don’t understand why you came to talk to me.”

“I just really wanted to meet the girl Jacob loves,” she said with a shrug. “I feel even worse about all this now that I’ve met you but I had to come talk to you and apologize.  And I heard you weren’t doing so well.”

My face screwed up as I tried to hold back more tears and I nodded. “It’s been pretty tough.”

“Yeah,” Marlana said with a grimace. “I just feel so guilty. Jeez. But there is something else I have to tell you, too, and Jacob agrees with me on this one.”

“What?”

“It’s about the” – her voice lowered to a whisper – “vampire.”

I bit my lip.

“We both know you still love him, Bella. I don’t understand why you aren’t with him again. And I know he still loves you. I saw him walk passed you when you guys came out of the room and – well, if you had seen the look in his eyes you would agree with me. Go back to him. I know he’ll take you back.”

I smiled at the girl, this time a true smile. It was the first true smile that had been on my lips in a month. Somehow, she had convinced me with just a few sentences that I could go back to Edward.

“Thanks, Marlana,” I said.

“I should be thanking you,” she said. “You could have – should have – attacked me or something but I’m glad you understand.”

I nodded as she slid a tiny note into my hand with Jacob’s scrawled writing scratched onto it and turned to leave. She stopped when she was just a few steps away and looked back at me, a smile on her lips.

“And there’s one last thing you need to know,” she said. “It doesn’t have to be the way Jacob and Edward think it has to be. We don’t have to be enemies. I don’t know if you can ever truly forgive me or Jacob, but we can be friends. I want to be friends. Come let me know how it goes with Edward.”

She waved goodbye and I smiled again. Once she was out of sight, I looked down at the paper in my hands and wondered what Jacob could have to say to me. I shook my head and with a scowl, tore the note in half. The sound of ripping paper echoed around me and I beamed.

For the first time in a long time I felt as though everything was going to be ok.