So, i talked to Nick last night. Nick who used to be my closest guy friend. Nick who i fell for only to be rejected when he started dating a girl i really hate. Nick who has been ignoring me for the last two months except when he needs something. Yesterday i officially snapped and i told him how mad i was. It was over text, of course. Now, i'm going to be really annoying and write down the whole conversation just so that i can think it over agian. You don't have to read it.

Me: Hey.

Him: Hey, whats up?

Me: Can i ask you a question and will you promise to answer honestly?

Him: Sure.

Me:Are we still friends anymore or is the only reason you even talk to me anymore to get a piece of gum?

Him: Ha no we're still friends. Why?

Me: It doesn't seem like it

Him: Why

Me: How many times have we talked in the last month? I mean, really talked.

Him: Probably three four times. Idk, five maybe. Why?

Me: Well that's a friendship right there. It just doesn't feel like you want to be my friend anymore.

Him: Um...i do. Why?

Me: Because friends act a certain way and that's not a you've been acting.

Him: What do you mean?

Me: It seems like you've been avoiding me and we don't talk at all anymore except when you need something.

Him: I don't avoid you. that's silly.

Me: Ok. If you say so.

Him: I do.

Me: Actions speak louder than words, you know.

Him: What brought all of this up?

Me: Its felt like this for a while and i just don't want to go on thinking we're friends any longer when it doesn't feel like it. You've only talked to me when it's convenient to you. I'm sick of it.

Him: Wow. I am sorry you feel that way but i can't change your heart so good luck to you.

Me: You know, i didn't want to fight. And i know i'm sounding rude but i just wanted a straight answer to my question.

Him: And i gave it to you I am not fighting either. It's your choice if you believe me. I can't make you.

Me:I wish i could feel like i can believe you. Idk why but i just don't feel like i can.

Him: Well that's your choice. I am sorry.

Me: Do you even really care if i believe you or not?

Him: I do but you sound like your minds made up and what am i going to do to tell you you're wrong?

Me: Once again, actions speak louder than words. Just act like you care.

Him: Ok...are you upset?

Me: No, i was but not really anymore. I just had to get that all out.

Him: When were you mad?

Me: For a while i guess.

Him: Since when

Me: It doesn't matter since when. I'm not mad anymore.

Him: Ya it does matter.

Me: Why?

Him: It just does.

Me: Ok...? It's just been a few weeks.

Him: Wow...really?

Me: Ya. Why's that a really?

Him: Idk. I am just surprised. Did Bethany start saying bad things today after i left?

Me: No, but all those comments she made were cuz she knew i was kinda peeved.

Him: Ah, i see. Well that's not really right at all.

Me: Ya, sorry.

Him:If you have a problem with me you should have come to me when it first started instead of letting it fester and then talking to biased people.

Me: Nick, you know me. I'm not good at confrontations. i wanted to come to you a while ago but i was never able to.

Him: Why were you not able to?

Me: I can barely confront my really close girl friends when i'm really mad. It takes me a really long time to let anyone know i'm mad.

Him: So this has been going on what a month?

Me: I haven't been exactly mad for a month. I've been more irritated. Just lately i've been really mad.

And that's where it ends because he never texted me back. i'm pretty sure he fell asleep or something because this was at almost midnight last night. Anyway, so you can see why i'm asking where we ended up because i have no clue. i'm really looking forward to seeing what his actions say on monday. now that i got all of that out, if he seems like he doesn't want to be my friend anymore, i'm pretty sure i'll be able to deal with that. I think i can say goodbye to him pretty easily now if that's what it seems he wants.

i you guys,

Bella