Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
Edward threw me against the cliff lightly, standing in front of me protectively.

“Edward, what’s happening,” I demanded but got no answer.

I looked around. Seth was standing about twenty feet away, growling at some unseen person – thing? – hidden by the trees around us, his fur rippling down his back. Then, I saw something from between the trees: a flicker of billowing, red hair. Realization hit me squarely in the chest so hard that it knock the air from my lungs.

I had been right. It was Victoria. It had all been connected. The newborns, the vampire in my room, and, then, the last piece of the puzzle, Victoria. She was never going to stop trying to kill me. I understood that, of course. If someone had killed Edward I would’ve stopped at nothing for revenge.

Victoria walked into the opening, her hair billowing behind her like a blood red cloud. She was followed by another vampire, a male, young and blonde. Edward snarled from in front of me. I guessed he was searching Victoria’s and the blonde’s heads for anything that might help us get out of this, alive that is.

Victoria growled and her hand flicked almost unseen at Seth. I trembled. Seth was so young. If he got hurt trying to protect me I would never forgive my self. But before the blonde could move, Edward spoke.

“She’s lying to you, Riley,” he said in his velvety voice.

“Don’t listen to him, Riley,” Victoria said in an outrageously high pitched and shrilly voice.

“She doesn’t love you,” Edward told him. “She’s been lying to you all along.”

“Riley, don’t listen to him!” Victoria shouted. “Attack the dog!”

Riley sprung forward, attacking Seth, and a small shriek escaped from my lips. But the only thing I could pay attention to was Edward. He appeared to be dancing with Victoria, and if someone didn’t know any better they would’ve guessed they were. She kept darting back and forth, looking for holes in Edward’s strategy in which she could attack…me. Edward was always one step ahead of her, though.

This dance seemed to last forever but, all of the sudden, Victoria stopped, her thin lips curving into an evil smile. A strange thought flashed through my head. In my opinion she was too cat like to be a vampire, not pretty enough. If it weren’t for the red eyes and the chalk pale skin, I could’ve mistaken her for a human with a bad hair coloring.

Victoria continued to smile but her blood-thirsty eyes moved from me to Edward. Edward grew rigid and stiff.

“Strange, my gift does not work on her,” she cackled. “But it does work on you. Now, kill the girl.”

It sounded like she was talking to herself. And what kind of gift did she have? And was I the one it didn’t work on? Her gift was like Edward’s or Aro’s or Jane’s if it didn’t work on me.

I was brought back from my thoughts by the sound of Seth being thrown against the cliff by Riley. I couldn’t dwell on my worry for Seth for to long because Edward lunged at me pinning me against the wall.

“Edward!” I screeched. “What are you doing?”

“Bella!” Edward whispered, fear in his eyes. “I can’t stop. She’s making me do this. Bella, I can’t stop myself.”

“What?” I yelled.

Then, I realized. He was bending forward, his teeth bared, leaning towards my neck. He still had me pinned against the wall with such force that the rocks cut into my shoulders. She was controlling him. He was going to kill me, drain me of all my blood, because of her. His perfect, razor sharp teeth brushed my neck, not cutting through my skin, yet. A chill went down my back.

“Stop!” Victoria said forcefully. Edward grew still. “I’m going to be more gracious to you than you were to me. I will let you say goodbye. But don’t let her move!”

Edward’s grip on my shoulder did not loosen but his teeth moved away from my neck. He moved his face so that he was looking into my eyes. His expression was so readable. He was scared. He knew he couldn’t stop Victoria from making him kill me. And - worse yet - she was going to kill me through him.

“Bella,” he sobbed tearlessly. “I’m so, so, so sorry. I don’t have control. I can’t stop her.”

“Edward, don’t!” I bawled, and my words were filled with tears. They were rolling down my face in huge blobs. “I don’t blame you.”

“I will do everything in my power to kill her,” Edward said, his voice breaking. “And I will.”

“No,” I ordered. “Don’t endanger yourself. I want you to keep on living.”

“I love you, Bella,” he whispered, so sincere it broke my heart.

“I love you too, Edward,” I told him. “No matter what, I will love you forever.”

He leaned in, but not towards my neck this time. Towards my lips. He pressed his hard lips to mine and I felt tears pouring out of my eyes in buckets. When he pulled away, I would swear that I saw a single tear roll out of his. But how could that happen? Vampires couldn’t cry.

“Times up,” Victoria sang, sounding joyous. “Now, kill her.”

Victoria laughed joyously as Edward bent forward toward my neck. His teeth pressed against my skin again and this time they broke through. I felt like screaming in pain as his venom started to sear through the wound.

Another random thought crossed my mind. I thought of how many times I had dreamt of the day when Edward finally bit me. Now that it had come, it was nothing like I had imagined. I never thought that he would bite me to kill me, but to change me into something like him. Either way I would’ve died, but at least with the latter I would’ve still lived in a way.

I could feel Edward start to suck the blood out of my veins. I was starting to grow light headed and black splotches were obscuring my vision. The end was coming now, I could feel it. I was going to die. Victoria had finally succeeded in killing me, and she had done it in the most sadistic way possible.

I blacked out, doubting that I would ever open my eyes again.
-- -- --
I was going in and out of consciousness. I kept trying to open my eyes but I couldn’t keep them open for more than a second. There were worried faces hovering above me and buzzing voices that I couldn’t understand. But above all, there was a light, shining right into my eyes. Was this heaven?

I struggled to make out the voices. They all sounded like those of angels, soft and velvety. I wanted to ask what was happening, what was going on, but my lips wouldn’t move. No, they were moving, they just wouldn’t produce sound.

“What’s she trying to say?” one of the angels asked.

“Love, love, can you hear me?” another one said. He sounded oddly familiar. Why would he be in heaven with me unless he hadn’t respected my wishes? He should still be living.

“Edward?” I moaned. “Edward?”

I tried to reach my arm out, searching for him. Something held my wrist down and I could feel a needle in my arm. But I was gaining consciousness. I opened my eyes. The light was still glaring into my eyes but my angel was standing above me.

“Edward, am I alive?” I croaked.

My angel laughed. “Yes, love,” he said. “You’re alive.”

“How?” I asked even though I would probably have forgotten by the time I was totally awake.

“Seth finished off Riley and attacked Victoria, breaking her eye contact with me, seconds before I had drained you past the point of recovery,” Edward told me. “We were able to destroy her.”

“Am I…a vampire?” I asked, highly doubting it though because of the way I felt.

“No,” Edward said. “I was able to suck the venom out again. There wasn’t much.”

I was exhausted. I needed more sleep. Edward could tell.

“You’re safe, Bella,” Edward told me. “Sleep, Bella.”

And I drifted off to sleep again.
So, i was in the middle of reading eclipse, the third book in the twilight series, when i came up with this. I was imagining how Victoria would attack Bella before i even read this part, so this is my version. I gave Victoria a "gift" that she doensn't have in the actual book. Leave your comments and keep in mind this is my version and not what actually happened in the book.

Note: i do not own these characters; they belong to Stephanie Meyers
Add a Comment:
 
:iconxx-okami-xx:
xX-Okami-Xx Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Wow...that was really good.
Reply
:iconedward-cullen-4eva-2:
edward-cullen-4eva-2 Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2008
Once again, amazing.
I love her power!
It makes her seem so much more evil to torture Edward and Bella that way!

~Because real men sparkle~
~Team Edward Anthony Mason Cullen~
Reply
:iconbellacullen124:
bellacullen124 Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2008
Thanks. I was trying to giver her this ultimate evil that she didn't seem to have in the book. SHe was evil sure but she didn't seem strong enough compared to how much fear she gave bella.
Reply
:iconedward-cullen-4eva-2:
edward-cullen-4eva-2 Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2008
Yeah 'cause Bella spends like all her days worrying about the werewolves, cullens etc. and in the end everything works out just fine. Edward and Seth defeat her and Riley easily. The rest of the Cullen's and the werewolves defeat all the newborns. LOL obsession much?

~Because real men sparkle~
~Team Edward Anthony Mason Cullen
Reply
:iconbellacullen124:
bellacullen124 Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2008
ya, seriously. There needed to be a little more drama. Honestly, it seems Stephenie resolves things a little too easily in her books so i had to rewrite this and make it a bit more dramatic.
Reply
:iconroyalblackheart:
RoyalBlackheart Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2008   Writer
AWWW!!! That's adorable! What a shame it didn't happen like that DX
Reply
:iconbellacullen124:
bellacullen124 Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2008
lol. thnx :D
Reply
:iconbamba6:
bamba6 Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2008
OH!
I got soo scared that Bella was going to die.
God, You're really creative with the characters and their gifts. haha.
Reply
:iconbellacullen124:
bellacullen124 Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2008
thnx. but come on, not even i could kill bella ;-)
Reply
:iconbamba6:
bamba6 Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2008
true true.
Reply
:icontartuffle:
Tartuffle Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
you know, i really liked your twist on it!
fabulous!
Reply
:iconbellacullen124:
bellacullen124 Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2008
thnx :hug:
Reply
:icontartuffle:
Tartuffle Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
:hug: no problemo
Reply
:iconharrellgirl:
harrellgirl Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Awesome fanfic, but there's one part where you switched from first person to third for about a paragraph. Just a heads-up ^_^

"Edward’s grip on my shoulder did not loosen but his teeth moved from her neck. He moved his face so that he was looking into his eyes. His expression was so readable. He was scared. He knew he couldn’t stop Victoria from making him kill me."
Reply
:iconbellacullen124:
bellacullen124 Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2008
lol, thnx. yay, someone told me that a while ago and i forgot to change it. I wasn't used to writing in first person when i wrote this. Sry. :XD:
Reply
:iconharrellgirl:
harrellgirl Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
lol That's ok XD I know what you mean! I hardly ever write in first person so it can be a bit of a challenge X3
Reply
:iconbellacullen124:
bellacullen124 Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2008
yay. it takes a while to get used to but i like it a lot more than third person cuz u can make ur characters more personal
Reply
:iconharrellgirl:
harrellgirl Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
It has its ups and downs =3 I've only written two stories in first person, one (my most recent) is an EdwardxBella fic ^_^
Reply
:iconbellacullen124:
bellacullen124 Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2008
oh, cool. i'm going to go check that out!
Reply
:iconiamsofreakinawsome:
iamsofreakinawsome Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2008
awsome i am going to start watching u :D
Reply
:iconbellacullen124:
bellacullen124 Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2008
sweet. Thnx :XD:
Reply
:iconaddaen:
addaen Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2008
Oops! THIS story was good too, of course! xD
Reply
:iconbellacullen124:
bellacullen124 Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2008
thnx :-)
Reply
:iconaddaen:
addaen Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2008
I'm seconding that! Where is 22? *sadness*
Reply
:iconbellacullen124:
bellacullen124 Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2008
comming soon love the signature. It's so true.
Reply
:iconclutterqueen918:
clutterqueen918 Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2008
Oh my gosh! I almost started crying!!! Wow! You're a really powerful writer, and I'm going to FINALLY start reading your story that you have on here :)
I noticed one mistake in here though (sorry, daughter of 2 newspaper editors :P ) In here --> "Edward’s grip on my shoulder did not loosen but his teeth moved from her neck. He moved his face so that he was looking into his eyes. His expression was so readable. He was scared. He knew he couldn’t stop Victoria from making him kill me." His teeth moved from HER neck; and the second sentence was also sort of confusing. You changed the Point of View in the first sentence I think. But other than that, wonderful :D Loved it!!! :)
Reply
:iconbellacullen124:
bellacullen124 Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2008
whoops. THnx. I always love (and i'm not being sarcastic, i swear) to get constructive critism. This was the first thing i wrote in first person creative writing wise in a long time so i just wasn't used to it. THnx. i'll get taht fixed. I guess that's kinda pay back for all the grammar corections i give to my friends :p glad u liked it.
Reply
:iconclutterqueen918:
clutterqueen918 Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2008
Haha, no problem!
Ok, so I'm at chapter 11, and I'm sitting here trying not to cry! But it's SOO hard not to! Ugh!
Reply
:iconbellacullen124:
bellacullen124 Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2008
Don't worry i cried to while writing it. But is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Reply
:iconclutterqueen918:
clutterqueen918 Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2008
It's a very good thing, but an annoying thing! I finished all 21 chapters and now I want to read more!!! When will the 22nd be on here???
And I think I might draw Bella for you, when I get some time. So, she's still really pale as usual, blonde cropped hair and violet eyes. How blonde is her hair? Golden, platinum??? And, what type of clothing does she wear???
Reply
:iconbellacullen124:
bellacullen124 Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2008
thnx. lol. I would love for u to draw one for me. THat would be awesome. And her hair is white blond and cropped really short with like feathery layers. I guess she just wears what the Bella in the books wear only with a little more style. I don't really describe wat she wears except in the first chapter whens she's in a cloak. I can't wait to see wat u come up with.
Reply
:iconclutterqueen918:
clutterqueen918 Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2008
Mmk, I'll try to do it fairly soon, but I have like 3 projects due in the next week and practicing TONS for a band thing in 2 weeks
Reply
:iconbellacullen124:
bellacullen124 Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2008
Ew, sounds like fun. What do u play?
Reply
(2 Replies)
:iconlosereclispe:
losereclispe Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2008
CUTE! too bad she isnt a vampire...yet*smiles devilishly*
Reply
:iconbellacullen124:
bellacullen124 Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2008
lol. thnx.
Reply
:iconlosereclispe:
losereclispe Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2008
:D welcome
Reply
:iconcel213:
cel213 Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2008
hey i loved this!! good way of putting it!!
Reply
:iconbellacullen124:
bellacullen124 Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2008
thnx. i had a lot of fun writing it :-)
Reply
:iconniqi-mo:
niqi-mo Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2008
LOL , now that i liked , it was an interesting twist
Reply
:iconbellacullen124:
bellacullen124 Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2008
Thanks that was just how i imagined it happening and i was really really bored
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

:iconbellacullen124: More from bellacullen124


Featured in Collections

words by Madame-B21

Twilight Literature by Riko23

bellacullen124 by PureBloodAlex


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
March 17, 2008
File Size
8.6 KB
Thumb

Stats

Views
1,472
Favourites
17 (who?)
Comments
46
×