Fate: Why He Loves Me

CHAPTER 11
My jaw sagged as I stared at Edward, looking at me with worried golden eyes. He was worried about what I was going to say. What could I say? He had just told me he loved me but I was engaged. Sure, I loved him too but I had fallen in love with Jacob first.

Before I could stop myself, though, I had thrown my arms around his neck and pressed my lips to his. Edward stiffened under my kiss, his lips taunt for a moment, before wrapping his arms around me. He held me close, his mouth moving against mine in an unfamiliar way. This kiss was so different from all the thousands of kisses Jacob and I had shared. Edward was hesitant, careful, but he kissed me in a way that made me want to explode – in a good way.

I pulled away, gasping for air, and Edward’s lips moved down to my neck, kissing my collarbone. He pressed his head against my chest, listening to my heart beat. I laid my cheek against his hair. We stood there in our strange embrace for a while.

“I love you, Bella,” Edward whispered.

“I love you, too, Edward,” I murmured into his hair.

That’s when my eyes filled with tears and spilled over into his hair. What was I going to do now? It was in that moment that I realized I was wrong. The other day when I had thought that I loved Jacob more, I was wrong. That wasn’t true anymore. I didn’t think I could live without Edward anymore.

Deep, wracking sobs were coming from my throat. Edward removed his ear from my chest and looked at me anxiously. He wiped the tears from my eyes before pulling me into his arms. I buried my head in his chest as he hugged me to him.

“I’m so sorry, Bella,” he said. “I shouldn’t have told you the truth. You were better off remaining ignorant. I shouldn’t have done that to you, to Jacob.”

This brought on a new round of sobs. He was so selfless, so perfect. No wonder I loved him. I clutched his shirt as continued to sob as he slowly led me – well, more like he carried me – into the elevator. The attendant looked startled as we stumbled off the elevator but didn’t say anything about my blubbering state.

Edward walked me down the streets, basically supporting all my weight. He flagged down a taxi so we could get off the island. Edward paid the driver and helped me out of the car. He pulled me into his arms like a baby, knowing I would be unable to hang onto his neck, and started running so fast he was all but invisible.

We were at my dorm room before I knew it. I think I might have fallen asleep in Edward’s arms as he laid me on my bed, not thinking I was awake. He tried to leave silently, kissing my forehead quickly, but I stopped him.

“Don’t leave,” I croaked.

“You want me to stay?” Edward asked.

“Please,” I said.

Conflict crossed Edward’s gorgeous face but he sighed. He scooted me over in my bed, tucking the covers around me, and laid down on top of them. I curled up in his side and he stroked my hair.

“What am I going to do?” I asked.

“We don’t have to decide that now,” Edward whispered. “You need to sleep. Sweet dreams. I’ll love you no matter what happens.”

He started to hum a sweet tune and I couldn’t help but drift off into sleep.
***
I woke up screaming. I couldn’t even avoid my nightmares when I was tucked into Edward’s side. He shook me until I finally woke up, my howling scream still in my throat. I gasped, my chest heaving up and down as I tried to control my frantic breathing. Edward leaned over me, worry etched on his face.

“Bella? Bella! Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I gasped. “Nightmare.”

He pulled me into his lap and cradled me there until I stopped shaking. The dream had been worse than usual though that may have had something to do with the vampire in my bed.

“So, what are we doing today?” I asked.

“We?” Edward asked.

“It’s Saturday,” I said. “I don’t have anything else to do today.”

“You want to meet my family?”

I grimaced. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to meet his family – I would have loved to meet the people related to him – but I still hadn’t made up my mind. I didn’t want to meet these people if they were just going to end up hating me in the end if I broke Edward’s heart.

“I…guess,” I said.

He left the room so I could change. I mangled my hair into a ponytail and met Edward out in the hall. He was waiting for me with an outstretched hand and I took his hand, a guilty feeling racking through my body. I couldn’t believe I was doing this to Jacob. It wasn’t fair to him but I couldn’t help the way I felt towards Edward. Love isn’t exactly something you can control.

Edward owned a silver Volvo that was parked off the campus. He helped me into the passenger’s seat before getting into the driver’s seat. The Volvo purred to life as Edward turned the keys in the ignition.

“Nice ride,” I laughed.

“I like to think so,” Edward chuckled.

“Why do you love me?” I asked.

“What?”

“Why do you love me?”

“Why?”

“Knowing will help me choose – when I need to.”

“Oh,” Edward said. “All right, then. I love you because you’re not like the rest – you’re different. They’re all predictable but you – I never know what you’re going to do next. Last night, when I told you how I felt, I expected you to tell me to get lost or something, but then you ended up kissing me. And you’re beautiful. You intrigue me – not a second I spend with you is boring. I can’t help but love you.”

It was right then that I knew who I was going to have to choose even though I knew it was going to kill me inside. But I wasn’t the only one it was going to kill.