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100 Years Without Love Part 1 by ~bellacullen124:iconbellacullen124:



Chapter 1
Just standing on the street in Volterra made me feel like crying – if I could, that is. But the thing is, I haven’t cried in over a hundred years. Vampires can’t cry. That was one of the things I had been looking forward to when I became a vampire. I had always thought I cried too much, but now I missed being able to. Sometimes, you just needed to be able to cry.

I was standing by the clock tower. I remembered running through the fountain in front of me, screaming at the top of my lungs. I remembered seeing Edward for the first time in six months and slamming into him.

“Amazing, Carlisle was right,” he had said, breathing in my scent.

The memory was so vivid that it made my shoulders shake with silent sobs. I hated having to come back to Volterra, or anywhere that reminded me of the Cullens. It was hard. I hadn’t been back to Forks in over sixty years at my father’s funeral and I hadn’t gone to our meadow since the last time I was with Edward.

Keeping to the shadows, I weaved through the crowds, my long, black cloak flowing behind me. Men stopped to stare as I walked by and woman turned green with envy. I knew I had that effect on people. My beauty rivaled even Rosalie’s. I looked nothing like I had when I was human. I now had blond hair – almost white – that was cropped short in wispy layers. My lips were plump and blood red. My nose was petite and perfectly shaped and my eyes were wide. Ever since I had been change, my irises had been a perfect purple color no matter what my diet – vegetarian or not. My figure was perfect and curvy.

Aro was insistent that I joined them every year on Saint Marcus day. That made it even harder for me to be in the city. Not only was it the exact place where I had found Edward after so many months apart, but it was also the same exact day. The sad thing was, I was the only on in a cloak.

I finally made it through the mazes of alleys and found the entrance to the Volturi mansion. I slid down the hole and into the maze of vast underground catacombs. A flood of more bad memories flooded in front of my eyes. It had only been a year since I had last been down here – more like a day when you’re a vampire – but I had been dreading it all year. I shivered though I had never been warmer than I was now.

I arrived at the elevator where Jane greeted me. She had been changed into a vampire when she had been fifteen and looked outrageously childish with her huge, doe eyes and brown hair. She wasn’t quite as beautiful as I was, but still pretty.

“Hello, Bella,” she greeted me. “How was your year?”

“Boring,” I said nonchalantly. “What have you been up to?”

“This and that,” Jane said, an evil smile twisting across her lips. Curious about what she was thinking about, I tuned into her thoughts. A slideshow of people being tortured under Jane’s gaze flashed in front of my eyes. How could someone be so cruel and evil?

Once the slideshow had stopped, I continued to listen to her thoughts. "God, I hate her. I wish I could make her wither on the floor in pain. Why is that the person I hate most in the whole world is the one person immune to my talent? I do know how to hurt her, though." I tuned out her thoughts.

“So, have you gone after Edward yet?” Jane asked out loud.

I grimaced at the mention of his name and snarled, “No, I haven’t. And I’m not going to.”

“Why not?” Jane said tauntingly. “It’s obvious you still love him.”

I didn’t answer. I didn’t know the answer exactly. I wanted to think it was because I was being selfless. I didn’t want to throw myself back into his life when he was finally happy without me. Besides, he thought I had been dead since about five days after we…parted. I fiddled with the bracelet on my wrist. I hadn’t taken it off once since Jacob had given it to me.

The elevator dinged and I got off. Jane ran forward to hug Demitri who was standing in the room in front of us. I waved lightly at the smiling human sitting at the desk. They had gotten a new one since the last time I had been here. I felt a pang for the old human that had worked for them, probably long since drained of all her blood.

“Look who we have here?” I heard a voice say. “If it isn’t Bella?”

“Aro!” I said, running forward to hug the old vampire. He had become a bit like a father to me when I had been with them. He was the only part of the Volturi that I had a problem leaving.

“I thought you wouldn’t make it,” he said with a laugh.

“Of course I would come,” I told him. “I come every year.”

“I shouldn’t have doubt that,” Aro said. “Now-”

“Let’s wait a couple hours before you start begging me to join you again,” I said.

“How do you know that’s what I was going to say?” Aro asked. I simply tapped my temple.

“Bella,” Marcus and Caius said simultaneously from behind me.

“Marcus. Caius,” I said in return as they led me into the cathedral-like room.

We spent the next few hours reminiscing on the past year. They asked me everything I’d been up to and relayed everything. They were still like my family even though I was no longer a part of them.

“Heidi’s almost here,” Demitri said, talking for the first time all night.

“I gotta go, then,” I said, standing up and sweeping the hood of the cloak over my blond hair.

“Of course,” Aro said. “But before you do, please let me at least try and convince you to join us again.”

“I already know exactly what you’re going to say,” I told him. “And you already know what my answer is going to be. I can’t go against who I am.”

“Okay,” Aro said. “But I do expect you back here next year.”

“As always,” I smiled and headed out the door. I passed Heidi on the way and the group of humans following her. I wrinkled my nose in distaste for the diet of the Volturi, but I felt a bit hypocritical. Hadn’t I followed the exact same diet for five years?

The party was still raging on the streets above us. How ironical? I thought. There celebrating the fact that Saint Marcus got rid of all the vampires in Volterra when we are still walking among them.

Several men wearing fake fangs whistled at me as I walked by. I rolled my eyes. Not at the whistles, but at the fangs. Vampires don’t have fangs. I should know.

Chapter 2
By the time the plane landed in New York, I had made up my mind. I was going back to Forks in the fall. I wouldn’t let myself admit why, though. I knew it was because I hoped Edward would be there even though I knew he wouldn’t. I settled on telling myself I had to go back to the town where this had all started.

I quickly got myself enrolled into the eleventh grade for the fall semester of 2110. I got a fake birth certificate saying I was seventeen and filled out all the application forms, saying my mom and I were moving to Forks to escape the noise of cities and so that she could write a few novels in peace and quiet.

I quit my job as a reporter in the New York and headed out to Forks in August to start renovating my father’s house which hadn’t been lived in since he had died. I had bought it shortly after his funeral but had never been able to bring myself to move in. The first night I was there, I couldn’t go up to my room. I spent the night on the couch in Edward’s head.

That’s the second part of my power. Not only can I read minds – it’s a bit like Edward’s power except for the fact that it’s more like a radio; I can turn it off or tune into only one person’s thoughts – but I can also step into people’s minds no matter how far away they are as long as I have had physical contact with them at one point in time. It’s a bit like being that person – I can hear there thoughts, feel whatever they feel, and see through their eyes – but I can’t control them.

Edward was thinking about me all night. He was laying on the floor of the roof of some house in Mexico. He kept thinking about how much he missed me, how guilty he felt for my death, how much he missed the feel of my lips on his. I was shaking again, but this time my sobs were loud. I felt like running to him, letting him know I was alive and holding him in my arms. But I couldn’t.

I was done fixing the house in a week, a feat that would’ve taken twenty humans two months. The house had been in pretty bad shape. The paint had been totally peeled off. There were huge, gaping holes in the ceiling and the carpet had to all be replaced. Once I was done, it looked better than it had when I had last lived here.

I had stopped by the Cullen place once and that was enough. It smelt like no one had lived there for years. I left and didn’t go back.

The first day of school came. I knew everything they were going to be teaching so I didn’t need to pay attention, but it was always nice to go through high school again. There was no pressure on you and it reminded me of my human days.

The school looked exactly the same as the last time I had been here – when I had graduated as a human. I parked my corvette – yes, I had finally given in and gotten a nice car – and went to the administrators office. They handed me my schedule and I walked out into the cold air.

That’s when I saw him. He was standing across the parking lot from me where I probably shouldn’t have been able to see him if it weren’t for my superhuman eyesight. It couldn’t be. He should be dead by now unless he was a hundred and twenty, but he looked exactly like he had at my wedding.

I walked towards him at human speed. It had to be his great-great grandson or something. He was just as tall – about six-eight – and had the same russet colored skin. His black hair was shoulder length and pulled back at the nape of his neck. When I got close enough, I tuned into his thoughts.

“Wow, that girl is pretty. She’s walking over here. Oh, god, wait. She smells like…like…a vampire. She is a vampire! No, there hasn’t been a vampire here since the Cullens.”

It was him. Who else would know about the Cullens? But how?

“Hi,” I said, walking up in front of him. His nostrils flared and he seemed to hold his breath. Honestly, I was doing the same. I knew instantly that he was a werewolf.

“Hi,” he said.

“I’m Issy,” I said, telling him the name I had gone by for the last ten years. The Volturi were the only people I knew who still called me Bella.

“Jacob,” he said softly.

Oh my god! It was him.

“I know,” I told him. I threw my arms around his waist and hugged him tightly.

He pushed me away and started to shake. “Get away from me, you vampire!”

“Jake, calm down,” I told him. “It’s me, Bella.”

“B-Bella?” he said, staring down at my face. I listened to her thoughts again.

“It couldn’t be, but I guess it could. She looks a bit like Bells, with different hair. He did turn her into a vampire. Her death must have just been an act.”

“Yeah, it’s me,” I said.

Jake finally believed me. He wrapped me in his arms again, lifting me off the ground. When he put me down, he patted my head.

“I can’t believe this,” he said. “I missed you so much. I thought you were dead.”

“Yeah,” I said. “But how, Jake? How are you still alive?”

“Don’t you remember the stories?” he asked.

I racked my brain for a minute and remember how werewolves didn’t age as long as they kept turning into a werewolf. If they stopped, they eventually aged and died.

“Why?” I asked.

“I was waiting for someone,” he told me. “Anyone. I never imprinted and I guess I was waiting for you, hoping that somehow you were still alive. So is Edward around here?”

My face fell. I bit my lip and shook my head.

“Oh, Bells,” he said. “I’m so sorry. What happened? Or, if you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine.”

“No, it’s okay,” I lied. “I haven’t seen him in a hundred years. We just…grew apart.”

“So, you’re a vampire?” Jacob said.

“Yep,” I said.

“Does that mean you don’t want to hang out with me after school?” Jacob asked.

I laughed. “Of course I want to hang out with you. As long as you can get over the smell.”

Now, I knew why I had come to Forks. It wasn’t to see the Cullens again. It was to see Jacob.

Chapter 3
It was the night of our wedding. Edward had finally given me what I wanted before becoming a vampire. I finally spoke at around one that morning. We were laying in his bed with my head on his cold, hard chest and his arms wrapped tightly around me.

“Edward?” I whispered.

“Yes, love?” he said.

“Will you promise me something?”

“What is it?”

“I need you to promise.”

“Bella, I’m not promising anything until I know what it is.”

“Okay, well, Edward, I just have this really bad feeling that something is going to happen-”

“Why would you think that? I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“I know, it’s just a feeling. I just need you to promise that whatever happens – to us, to me – you won’t go and try to do off with yourself again.”

“Bella,” Edward sighed.

“I just need you to promise,” I told him. “I know you can survive without me. And, while I know nothing will happen, I just need to be sure that you won’t try to kill yourself again. No matter what happens to me, I need to be positive that you are still alive…that you’re still okay.”

“You’re being ridiculous, Bella.”

“I don’t think so. All you need to do is promise.”

“Fine, I promise.”

“It didn’t sound like you meant it. I need you to swear your life…no, my life – my soul – on it.”

“Come on.”

“Edward.”

“Okay, okay. Bella, I swear, I won’t. I’ll keep living, for you.”

“That’s all I needed to know.”

I reached up and kissed his lips. He started to hum my lullaby and slowly drifted off to sleep.
***
The bell rang, bringing me back from the past. I slowly picked my books off the table and left the classroom to find Jacob. He was waving frantically at me outside. Even though we hadn’t seen each other for years and we were now basically mortal enemies, we were best friends again like the last time we had seen each other was yesterday. I had fallen out of love with him over the years, but I still loved him as a brother. The only problem was the smell.

“So, Issy, how was your first day?” Jacob asked.

“Fun,” I told him, rolling my purple eyes. I loved the fact that my eyes were now purple. It had been my favorite color until Edward had told me he liked the color blue because it went with my skin. As a kid, I had always wanted purple eyes. Kind of funny how your wishes come true, isn’t it?

“I have a surprise for you,” Jacob said as he walked me to my car. “Meet me at my house in La Push.”

“K,” I told him, opening the door of my yellow Corvette and turning the keys in the ignition. “See you there.”

He waved and galloped off to the forest. He was running home. I rolled my eyes again. He was the last werewolf left. He had told me that Sam had only just died about five years ago. That was the reason Jacob was back here. He had felt compelled to stay after Sam’s funeral.

I arrived at La Push, in front of the same house Jake had lived in a hundred years ago. The first time I had come here, I had pulled up in front of the house with two motorcycles hidden in the back of my trunk. I wanted Jacob to help me fix them so that I could break the promise I had made to Edward. I had used Jacob at first but had found that I really liked him. He became like my sun.

Jacob ran up beside my car, half naked. He opened the door for me and I walked with him up to the house.

“I can’t believe you still live here,” I said with a laugh.

“Where are you living?” he asked.

I laughed harder. “Touché. My old house.”

Jacob opened the door and ushered me into the small house. Everything was the same. Things just never seemed to change in Forks.

“Daddy! Daddy!” a little boy called from the other room. I looked at Jacob with wide eyes as a boy, about five years old, ran into his arms.

“I thought you said you never imprinted,” I said accursedly.

“I never imprinted, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t fall in love,” he informed me. “At Sam’s wedding. Jackson’s mother died in childbirth.”

“Hi, miss,” Jackson said, standing in front of me. He looked like a mini Jacob with the same colored skin and long hair. “You’re really pretty.”

I laughed and patted his head.

“Who is she, daddy?” he asked Jacob.

“Remember the stories I told you about the vampires and Bella?” Jacob asked.

“Yup,” Jackson said.

“This is Bella,” he said.

“You said she was dead,” Jackson said.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t know until today she was a vampire, too.”

“Really? She smells funny,” Jackson said.

My jaw dropped open.

“Go watch TV with Aunty,” Jacob told Jackson. The little boy ran off.

“My, that was one surprise,” I said.

“That wasn’t it,” Jacob told me.

“It wasn’t?”

“Nope,” he said, grabbing my hand. “Come on.”

It was taking all my will power not to tune into his thoughts as he led me out to the garage.

Chapter 4
Jacob led me out to the garage behind his house. We had spent so many hours together in there fixing our bikes.

“Hand over your eyes,” he ordered before throwing the door open dramatically. I covered my eyes and allowed him to lead me into the small, dark gage. “Okay, now.”

I took my hand off my eyes as he threw on the light. I gasped with surprise when I saw the two bikes standing in front of me. They looked perfect; like Jacob hadn’t used them in a hundred years but had made sure that they kept working. I threw my stone arms around Jacob’s neck and he didn’t even cringe from the way I probably smell to him.

“I’m glad you like them,” he said. “Want to take them out.”

I nodded vigorously and Jacob threw me a helmet.

“I don’t think that’s going to help at all if I fall off,” I told him. “I’m kind of indestructible.”

“Fine, it’s your head,” he said, pulling on his own helmet. “I’m going to take safety seriously.”

I laughed and shook my head. I grabbed the handle bars of my bike and rolled it out of the garage, Jacob two steps behind me. I straddled the motorcycle and started it.

“Race you down to First Beach,” I yelled as I took off. I remember being really wobbly, so out of control, on my motorcycle as a human. Now, I was in perfect control. The wind flew threw my short hair.

I made it to First Beach just five seconds before Jake – even though I had had a thirty second start. Jacob drove his bike in front of me, throwing sand in my face as he came to a sudden stop.

“God, Jacob, you’re so annoying,” I squealed, shaking the sand out of my hair.

“Not much changes, obviously,” he said, with a laugh.

“Ha, ha,” I said sarcastically.

We parked our bikes in the sand and walked down to the bleached piece of driftwood that was still here after a hundred years. I couldn’t believe. Nothing – and I do mean nothing – in Forks ever seemed to change. Jacob and I had been sitting here when he had told me about the existence of vampires – back before he became a werewolf so, of course, he didn’t believe in them. It had been here that I had told him I knew he was a werewolf and it had been here where I had decided to go cliff diving by myself, changing the course of my life yet again.

We sat down and I leaned against his superheated body.

“It doesn’t bug you, does it?” I asked. “Being this close to me?”

“I thought that you being a vampire would be like you being dead,” Jacob told me. “But this is nothing like that. I know what it felt like to think you were dead. I like this way better. I know you’re alive and I can feel you next me. I never want you to leave.”

“Jake...are you still…Y’know, in love with me?” I said, wording it carefully.

Jacob started to laugh uproariously. Not in I’m-making-fun-of-what-you-just-said way, but more of an I-wasn’t-expecting-you-to-ask-that-making-it-hilariously-funny way, if that makes any sense.

“Will it hurt you’re feelings if I say no?” he asked after he was done laughing.

“No,” I told him honestly.

“Then, no,” he said. “Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always loved you like a sister, just now, it’s nothing more.”

“I feel the exact same way,” I said.

“Good,” Jacob said. “I’m sorry, but I could never be in love with a vampire.”

“Of course not,” I laughed.

“So…” he said slowly. “And don’t answer if you don’t want to. Does Edward know you’re still…alive?”

“No,” I said sadly.

“Oh.”

“Don’t feel bad.”

“Do you still love him?”

“Yes,” I said candidly, searching frantically for a change of subject. “So…Is Jackson a werewolf?”

“I don’t know,” Jake told me. “He could be. He has the gene and now that you’re back – if you stay till he’s a teenager, that is – he might turn. I don’t know if I want him to. I mean, it gets pretty lonely being the only werewolf left but I don’t particularly want him to have that life.”

“It gets lonely being the only vampire, too,” I told him softly.

“It’s when I’m a wolf, and there aren’t ten other voices in my head, that I feel the pang of emptiness,” he said. “You probably don’t understand that.”

“No, no, I do,” I said, chuckling. “I guess I haven’t told you yet but I can read minds, like Ed-Ed-Edward.”

“What?!” Jacob yelled. “Well, that must have ruined my surprise.”

“No, I didn’t hear you thinking about that,” I said. “I’m more like a radio – I can tune people out – than a person standing on a street with everyone talking to him. That’s how Edward was. But it gets lonely when the only people I have to listen to are ignorant humans who know nothing about us.”

“Well, you’re not alone anymore,” he told me.

“Promise?”

“I promise.”


Chapter 5
As the weeks passed, Jacob and I were inseparable – again. It was like we had just picked up right were we had left off. No, no, where we had left off hadn’t been that good. I had hurt him really bad and then went off and married Edward. It was more like we had picked up where we had left off the night before we found out he was a werewolf. We were closer than brother and sister.

Jackson soon started to call me Aunty Issy. I liked the ring to it. His actual Aunty, though – the one that stayed with him while Jacob was at school – was Emily and Sam’s great-great granddaughter.

It was late one evening and I was coming home after eating – well, not really, but you know what I mean – dinner with Jacob and Jackson. I parked in my driveway of my house and was a startled by a strange smell that was blown into my nose the second I stepped out of the car.

Vampire!

I tensed, moving forward slowly, following my nose. There was another vampire in my house and I had no idea who it was. I opened the door slowly and moved into the house stealthily, quiet even for a vampire. Who was in my house? Why? The scent was familiar even though I knew I had never smelt this particular vampire before.

I decided now would be the perfect time to my power. I tuned into the closest thoughts.

“Yes, she’s back! Now I can give her a piece of my mind for moving into Bella’s house. God, I miss her. No, pay attention, Alice. Focus. Don’t kill her till you figure out who she is.”

Alice! Was it really Alice? It had to be! I ran into the family room to find a tiny, black haired vampire sitting on my couch. She growled at me but I held up a hand to keep her from attacking.

“Alice? Alice Cullen?” I asked timidly, already knowing the answer.

“How’d you know my name, you-” she snarled.

“Alice,” I whispered. “Don’t you recognize me? I know I look different, but not that different.”

“No, I’ve never seen you before,” she growled. “Though you do smell familiar.”

All I wanted to do was give her hug. She had obviously kept true to her promise and hadn’t looked for my future once. She thought I was dead.

“It’s me, Bella,” I told her. “Well, Izzy, now, but it’s still me. I’m a vampire.”

“It can’t be her. Bella was never turned into a vampire, and if she was she would’ve come to find us. And, besides, I watched them lower her casket into the ground. I had my arm around Edward all day as he cried silently. If she was alive she wouldn’t have let him go through that.” Those were her thoughts. What she said out loud was the complete opposite.

“Do you think I’m an idiot?” she yelled.

“No,” I said as convincingly as I could. “Ask me anything. I can tell you almost everything about your family.”

“Fine,” Alice grumbled. “If you insist. You – if you are in fact Bella – were in the hospital in Phoenix after being attacked by another vampire. What-”

“James,” I answered immediately.

“That wasn’t my question,” she said. “My question was what the argument you and Edward had while there was about?”

I opened my, closed it, and opened it again. That memory stung, eating away at the raw edges of the hole in my chest. It was an argument we had had many times. I finally answered. “Edward and I were arguing about me becoming a vampire. He didn’t want to change me. He didn’t even want me to know how someone was changed into a vampire. But you told me how it worked while we were hiding in the hotel in Phoenix.”

“Oh my god!” Alice cried. “It is you!”

She flung her arms around my neck in a choking hug. It was a good thing I no longer needed to breathe. I hugged her back. I hadn’t seen her since the day I stormed out on Edw-

I stopped myself there before I thought of exactly what had happened between me and my Edward. It was too hard to think about. I would be reduced to a sobbing ball on the ground if I pursued the memory any further.

“What are you doing here, Alice?” I asked when she had finally released her choking grip on me.

“What am I doing here? What are you doing here?” she asked. “And how are you here? We all thought you were dead!”

“Yeah, long story,” I said. “You tell me why you’re here and I’ll tell you my story.”

“Fine, Esme was missing Forks, and honestly Rosalie and I were, too,” Alice told, sitting down on the couch again. I sat down next to her. “Jasper and Emmett and Carlisle didn’t really care.” I noticed she hadn’t said Edward. “Carlisle is fine with wherever we go as long as he can help humans and Jasper and Emmett…well, they’re just guys and could live in Antarctica as long as Rose and I were there with them. Esme finally convinced us to move back out here.”

“So, you’re all back?” I asked her.

“Yep,” she said. “I have to take you over to our house immediately. Esme and Carlisle will love to see you.”

“What about…” I trailed off.

“Edward wasn’t living with us when he made the decision,” she told me. “But he did agree to join us after Christmas.”

“Oh,” I said, both happy and disappointed. I didn’t exactly want to force myself back into Edward’s life but I would have traded my soul to be with him again.

“Come on,” Alice said. “Let’s go see the others.”

She pulled me off the couch, musing about how different I looked. “What’s up with the blond hair? And the purple eyes? Are you a vegetarian? Rosalie is going to be green with envy when she sees you. Have you found anything out about the werewolves? Are they still around.”

She said this all so quickly, barely giving me time to answer. She kept on chattering as we drove to the Cullen house. I realized how much I had really missed her. She had always been more than a best friend to me. She had been my sister. And I couldn’t believe I was finally going to see my family again.
Chapter 6
“Okay, we’re going to have to decide how we’re going to tell them so that we know how they’re going to react,” Alice said. “I don’t know if they’ll be mad or overjoyed until we decide though.”

“Um…I guess we just tell them immediately,” I said. Alice nodded and leaned back, closing her eyes. A thin smile stretched across her lips.

“That’ll work,” Alice said. “Just expect one huge hug from Emmett. Oh, but Rosalie won’t be very happy.”

“She never liked me much,” I said.

“You’d be surprised how much she really loved you,” Alice said. “You were like that little, annoying sister to her.”

“That makes me feel better,” I scoffed.

Alice stopped in front of the big white house. It was so discreetly hidden in the woods that I had had constant trouble finding the turn-off as a human. Even when I lived in there. I got out of the car slowly, a little nervous. I was pretty sure a vampire couldn’t get sick, but I was feeling pretty nauseous.

“Don’t worry,” Alice said, squeezing my hand quickly. “They still love you.”

“Okay, come on,” I said.

Alice and I walked through the door, Alice calling out immediately even though they had probably all heard us pull up. Esme, Carlisle, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie all came down the stairs. I couldn’t believe it was them. I felt a funny itching in the back of my nose, the way I would feel before crying as a human.

“Who’d you find now?” Jasper asked as he wrapped his arms around Alice’s tiny waist.

“I was at Bella’s house and I smelt a vampire,” Alice told them. “So I hung out there for a few hours till none other than Bella came home.”

It took a moment for that to settle into everyone’s minds. I tuned them all out completely because they were all thinking about a million different things, giving me a bit of a headache. After it had sunk, everyone’s jaws dropped simultaneously. I would’ve laughed if I hadn’t been so nervous.

“But…but Bella died a hundred years ago,” was Rosalie’s brilliant response.

“No, I didn’t,” I said, speaking up for the first time. “I was turned into a vampire and decided it was best to fake my death.”

Everyone seemed to believe me after that. Or at least I assumed so because I was attacked by a giant group hug. Esme reached me first, wrapping me in a motherly hug. Next was Emmett. He lifted me off the ground in one of his killer, bear hugs. I hugged him back with equal force and he set me back on the ground chuckling.

“Someone’s gotten strong,” he laughed.

Carlisle and Jasper both hugged me after that, but Rosalie stayed on the other side of the room, scowling with me. I tuned into her thoughts simply because I was…curious.

“God, the nerve of her. After breaking Edward’s heart…I’m surprised she’d show her face around here. She should’ve told us she was alive. Edward still isn’t the same, he never will be. I wished she’d burn in Hell for an eternity. That’s the only way she could repay Edward for all the pain she’s caused him.”

“I understand why you’re mad at me, Rosalie, but you really have no reason to hate me, or want me to burn in Hell,” I said out loud. She looked a bit shocked…Okay, really shocked. Her scowl turned into the face of a little kid getting caught stealing cookies from a cookie jar. “I honestly thought I was doing what was best for both Edward and me by not letting him know I was alive. Staying away from him for this long has been so much harder than anything I’ve ever had to do.”

“You should be sorry,” she snarled, turning and storming back up the stairs. Emmett marched after her, looking back at me apologetically. I nodded, grim-faced.

“Bella, dear,” Esme cooed. “We have so much we have to catch up on. We all have missed you so much. Of course, you will be moving back in with us as soon as possible and I’ll call Edward so that he comes out here sooner.”

“Oh,” Alice cut in excitedly, “we should throw this really big party and not tell him why we need him. So when he shows up we can surprise him.” She paused for a moment. “Yes, that will work. He’s going to be so happy!”

“Wait,” I said. “I don’t want him to feel…obligated to come out earlier. I need to get settled back into life at Forks before…”

I trailed off and Esme and Alice both ushered me into the living room, sitting me down on the couch. Carlisle and Jasper stood across the room, watching us, amused looks on their faces. I could tell they were trying really hard not to laugh.

“So, tell me everything,” Esme said. “You look so different. The hair and the eyes! Are they always purple?”

“Always,” I said.

“How were you changed?” she asked.

I bit my lip, searching for what I could tell them. “After I left…the Volturi caught me. They gave me a choice…die or be changed. I choose the latter since Edward woul-” I paused for a moment. “By the time I had escaped from the Volturi Edward had already gotten over me to the point where he was living – a lot better than I had when he left. I decided not to throw myself back into his life. With my luck, it would happen again and I wasn’t quite sure if he could heal again. He’s strong, but sometimes things just get to be too much.”

I finished with a sigh. Most of that had been the truth. I had changed it a little. But telling them that made me feel like crying again. Alice and Esme both noticed that and quickly wrapped me in their arms.

We spent all night talking about everything that had happened in the last hundred years. I carefully avoided any subjects having to do with Edward, listening to their thoughts very meticulously to see if either of them were about to bring it up. Jasper and Carlisle joined on the couch after a while and Emmett came back down. Obviously Rosalie had barricaded herself in their room and wouldn’t let anyone in. If she wasn’t going to be mature about this that was her problem.

When the sun started to rise – though you couldn’t tell through the clouds – I went back to Charlie’s to get all my stuff. I was moving back into Edward’s and my room. I didn’t particularly know if I wanted to, but I knew I would get used to. As long as I was part of the family I really belonged to again.
Chapter 7
The pain seared through my veins. I screamed out.

‘Edward, I want you to change me today.’

‘Why today, love? Why not wait?’

My throat was hoarse from screaming and I grasped the hand in mine harder.

‘I want…to be able to…kiss…you…without the boundaries, you know?’

‘No, love…not today.’

The pain came in waves, going from bad to worse to horrific. I didn’t know how much longer I could stand this.

‘Why not? How is today different from four days from now?’

‘Exactly.’

I wanted to die. I wished someone would just kill me, just so that I wouldn’t have to deal with the pain anymore.

‘Come on, Edward. Please. You’ve already promised to change me.’

‘Well, Bella, I’ve been thinking and…I’m not going to change you.’

I kept on having to remind myself that I had asked for this; this was what I wanted.

‘What?! You promised!’

‘Well, time changes the mind.’

My mom used to tell me that I had made my bed and now I had to sleep in it. That was what this seemed like. I had asked to become a vampire and was going to have to deal with the pain.

‘That was three months ago.’

‘Listen, Bella…I’ve realized I’d rather see you dead than…damned to this life.’

I was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to sleep. But I couldn’t. The pain wouldn’t let me. I hadn’t slept in three days

‘Fine! I’ll get Carlisle to do it!’

‘Don’t bother trying. I’ve already got him to promise not to.’

I noticed that the pain was getting lighter. I wasn’t screaming as much.

‘Get away from me you…you…you monster!’

The pain had stopped. It had been abrupt. One second I was in the middle of screaming and the next I felt perfect, better than I had ever felt before. I opened my eyes and noticed that my vision was sharper than it had ever been as a human and I could hear everything within a mile.

I swung my feet off the bed I had been laying on. I felt weightless, like instead of my feet being on the ground I was floating about an inch above the ground. I moved forward a few steps and didn’t even come close to falling. I looked down at my now pale white fingers and moved towards the full length mirror staring at me from across the room. I gasped when I saw my reflection.

“Edward,” I called out, wondering where he was.

“Yes, Bella,” a velvety voice said from behind me, but it was the voice of my Edward. Someone appeared in the mirror me. It was a vampire, familiar, but still not Edward. His pale skin was transparent, almost like onion skins. His white hair hung limply from his head.

“Aro,” I whispered.
***
“Were you sleeping?” someone asked. I sat up to find a pixie sitting on the end of my bed. Well, not a pixie, but a vampire who looked a bit pixie-ish.

“No, Alice,” I said. “Just thinking.”

“About what?” Alice asked. “You were screaming.”

“Just a memory,” I said softly. “A very vivid memory.”

“Oh,” Alice said, and then a smile stretched across her lips. “Guess who’s coming today!”

The Cullens had been back for two weeks. When I had told Jacob, he had immediately started packing. He told me he was taking Jackson and they were moving somewhere south. Immediately.

“It’s not because of you, Bella,” he told me. “It’s because of them. With even more vampires around it will be more likely that Jackson will change into a vampire. And I don’t want to risk that. I’m sorry, Bella.”

He had leaned down to kiss the top of my cold head before leaving with Jackson. I doubted I would ever see either of them again. I wasn’t mad, though, or sad that I had become close with him again just to have him leave a few weeks later. I was just happy to know he was still alive and well.

“Who?” I grumbled, rubbing my temples. Remembering my transformation so vividly had really made my head hurt. But rubbing my temples hurt even worse because it shot another memory in front of my eyes. I remembered how Edward would always pinch the bridge of his nose when he was frustrated.

“Guess!” she said. “And no peeking.”

Of course I didn’t listen to her. I quickly tuned into her thoughts. She, of course, had known that I wouldn’t listen, but she wasn’t trying to hide her thoughts by translating the Dead Sea scrolls or something. Instead she was screaming on word at me over and over again.

“EDWARD!!!”
Chapter 8
I almost screamed. How could she do this to me? I wasn’t ready to see Edward again. He was never going to change me into a vampire. What if he didn’t like me now that I was one?

“Alice, how could you do this?” I wailed.

“Don’t you want to see him?” Alice asked, looking hurt as though I had ruined her present. “I mean, technically you two are still married and he still loves you. You have to let him know that you’re alive eventually! You have to tell him sooner or later and I thought sooner would be better.”

I flew out of my bed and over to my closet, pulling out different shirts and throwing them on the floor. Styles hadn’t really changed that much. Jeans and t-shirts were still what was ‘in’. But, even though Edward still had all my clothes from when I was human and the clothes that I currently owned, I felt I had nothing to wear.

“Alice!” I whined.

“Now, this just proves that you’re excited to see him,” Alice said triumphantly.

“When does he get here?” I asked not even waiting for her to answer out loud before continuing. “Two hours! He’s not even going to recognize me. Maybe I can slip out before he gets here.”

“You will not!” Alice shouted.

“Fine,” I said. “But I don’t want to tell him it’s me. Not at first. I just want…I don’t know what I want, but I don’t want him to know right away.”

“Okay,” Alice said. She thought for a minute and then smiled. “Here, we’ll intercept him before he gets to the house. I tell him the reason I wanted him to come home early was to set him up on a blind date with you, Izzy. And then you tell him sometime on your ‘date.’”

I grimaced but nodded. That had to be a little less painful than telling him right off the bat. I just had to make sure he liked me as a vampire first. That was why I had left….

No, don’t think of that, I ordered myself. Not now. Concentrate on getting ready.

Alice was basically bouncing off the walls as I finally found something to suitable to wear. I kept on telling myself I shouldn’t be so nervous. He was my husband – then again, he was my husband who I hadn’t seen for a hundred years and who thought I was dead! Yeah, this was going to be an interesting reunion.

Alice told me we were going to have to run if we were going to beat Edward. I ran along side her as she basically galloped – but in the most graceful way possible. I was going to see Edward again. I was going to see Edward! Oh my god, I was going to see Edward!!!

I smelt him before I saw him, and oh my, did he smell amazing. Almost like he had when I was human, but more potent. I wondered quickly what I would smell like to him. He was still a couple miles away – too far to hear Alice’s thoughts – and the wind was blowing towards us so our smell was being pushed away from him.

I had a random thought all of the sudden. Would he be able to hear my thoughts? Sure, he hadn’t been able to read my mind when I was a human, but I wasn’t human anymore. Would that change anything? Alice was already reciting Romeo and Juliet in her head. In a very complicated dead language I had never heard of. I knew that would keep he thoughts away from me. But it would ruin everything if he could read my thoughts.

All my worries disappeared when I saw him. He looked exactly the same as he had the last time a saw him – duh, vampires never change – but different in a way. Better. Seeing him was like getting an electric shock, in a good way. I couldn’t believe I had gone a hundred years without seeing his face.

No, that’s a lie. Technically – though I don’t know who wants to get technical – it had only been ninety. Wow, big difference. But I hadn’t talked to him. He had been in Volterra to meet with Aro who was trying to get him to join the Volturi – again. He had refused and I had seen him leaving from a distance. He had barely glanced at me and I hadn’t run after him, no matter how much I had wanted to.

Alice sped up the last few feet to her brother and grabbed him a sisterly hug. I wanted nothing more than to do the same – only in less sister/brother way and in I-love-you-and-never-want-to-let-go kind of way – but instead I forced my self to come to a stop about five feet away from him, breathing in his wonderful scent.

“How’s my little sister?” he asked Alice playfully, giving her a noogie. Oh my god, his voice. It was a thousand times better than I remembered. A million times smoother and billion times as velvety.

I was listening into his thoughts while Alice said hello to. Of course I – human Bella me not vampire Bella me – was on his mind. See, the thing about us vampires is that we can think a lot of different things at the same time and still be able to really concentrate on each one. So he mourning human me and wondering who the heck vampire me was at the same time as well as what Alice was hiding and why he couldn’t read my mind.

Yes! He couldn’t read my mind!

“So, who’s your friend?” he asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.

Alice skipped towards me, grabbed my hand, and pulled me in front of Edward so that we were standing just a foot apart. His liquid topaz eyes gazed curiously into my purple ones.

“Wow, I haven’t seen anyone as pretty as he since my Bella,” he thought, almost making me burst out laughing.

“This is Izzy,” Alice said. “Izzy, this is Edward. Of course, you already know that. But, anyways, Edward, you were probably wondering why I asked you to move out here a few months earlier-”

“Yeah, I was a bit puzzled,” Edward chortled and Alice snarled playfully at him.

“Don’t interrupt me!” she yelled. “Didn’t anyone ever tell you that’s rude? Anyways, I was saying that I asked you to move early because I really wanted you to meet Izzy and maybe, even, kind of set you up…with…her.”

A thousands emotions played across Edward’s face. I wasn’t sure which one was his real feelings.
Chapter 9
“Alice,” Edward whispered after what seemed like an eternity of silence, shaking his head. “I…can’t.”

“Listen, Edward, we all know you’re not over Bella yet and you probably never will be,” Alice said. “But Izzy lost someone, too, about a hundred years ago and while you’ll both never stop loving them, I’m pretty sure you guys are almost perfect for each other.”

Wow, Alice was doing good. She could act. And all the while she was still reciting Romeo and Juliet – only now she had switched to German – to keep her from thinking my true identity.

“Did Alice put you up to this or do you want to get to know me?” he asked, talking to me for the first time in a hundred years. I almost melted where I stood.

“Alice mentioned it but I…decided it was time to…move on,” I said, wording it carefully.

“Please, Edward,” Alice begged, pouting and looking at him with big pleading eyes.

“How can I say no to that face?” Edward laughed. “Okay, what do you want to do?” he asked me.

I mulled that over for a second and Alice piped up.

“Why don’t you two just hang out,” she said cheerfully. “I’ll just be going.”

And she turned into a blur and darted away from us before I could say anything. We were both silent for a few minutes, both staring at each other. The suspense was killing me. I tuned into his thoughts.

“She looks so familiar, yet like no one I’ve ever seen before. She kind of reminds me of Bella. God, I miss Bella. No, Edward, don’t go thinking about her right now. Izzy kind of smells like freesias…like Bella. No, it couldn’t be.”

“So,” I said before both of us were reduced to crying blobs on the ground. “Alice was telling me so much about you. Is it true that this girl you were in love with was a human…you tua cantante?”

“Yeah,” Edward said, a far away look crossing his face momentarily. “How much did Alice tell you?”

“Well, not much, but I know a lot. I’m kind of a bad girl,” I said.

“How so?” Edward asked, now looking interested. I leaned against his truck…a shiny, stupid Volvo – still.

“Well – and don’t tell Alice ‘cause she’ll hate me – I sort of read her mind a lot more than I should’ve,” I told him like someone who wasn’t the least bit sorry but a bit proud.

“You read mind?!” he practically yelled, leaning against the car next to me. “I do-”

“Too,” I finished for him. “I know,” I said, tapping my temple – the ultimate sign for reading minds.

“So, who was this guy Alice was talking about?” Edward asked. I peeked into his thoughts and he already liked me. As more than just a friend. Maybe it was time to tell him. I was going to ease into it though.

“The most amazing guy ever,” I told him.

“Was he a vampire?” Edward asked.

“Yeah.”

“What happened?”

“I left,” I said softly. I listened to his thoughts again and he was struck by how similar that sounded to what Bella did.

“Why?”

“Because he wouldn’t turn me into a vampire,” I stated simply.

“Whoa,” he said. “You were human?” Then, he thought, “Her story is creepily like Bella’s and mine.”

“Yep,” I said. “But he thought it would risk my soul to change me so he told me he wouldn’t.”

“Wow, you sound exactly like Bella,” Edward said. “She wanted nothing more than to be a vampire. She was the most stubborn thing alive. She told me she didn’t care about my soul as long as she could be with me forever. It killed me when she died. I remember her so well though. Those big, brown eyes, the way her hair hung in waves around her face, how she would blush whenever I touched her…”

“You really miss her,” I said. I wasn’t asking.

“More than anything,” he said. “I feel like it’s my fault she died, like it was because of me that she will never have a chance to blush again.”

“What if I told you it is your fault she will never blush again, but that it’s not because she’s dead?” I asked.

“I would give my soul if someone could tell me that and that it was true,” he said.

“I can,” I said.

“What? What are you talking about?” he asked.

“Look into my eyes,” I said, putting my hands on his shoulders and turning his face towards mine. I brushed a strand of his bronze hair out of his eyes. “What do you?”

“I see a really pretty vampire who obviously knows something I don’t,” Edward said with a little laugh, scrutinizing every detail of my face.

“Edward, it’s me,” I said. “It’s me, Bella.”
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Author's Comments

Okay, last night i had this brilliant beyond brilliant idea. 8-) :-) ;-) I thought how much i hated having to go back to someone's gallary every time i wanted to read a new chapter. So, i decided to put all the chapters together into one huge entry. Here's part one! Chapters 1-9. I hope you like this idea and that it makes it easier. If u'd rather read each chapter seperately, you can go to my gallery where i have them all.

So have fun reading!

Stephanie meyer owns these characters - except Jackson. I own him so niether stephanie or any of u can hav him ;-) jk, but still, he's mine.

Chapter ten [link]

Devious Comments

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~simply-ecstatic:iconsimply-ecstatic: Apr 2, 2008, 5:42:20 PM
more! oh. my. gosh. more! i love it sooo much!

--
ok, i'm weird!
but i'm saving up to be eccentric!
~bellacullen124:iconbellacullen124: Apr 2, 2008, 8:11:22 PM
thanks, love ur saying. Ha-ha-larious!

--
Save the vamps! [link]

Jesus Christ is my savior. And i'm not afraid to say it.

My twilight fan fic [link] now read it!
~MishanAngel:iconMishanAngel: Apr 4, 2008, 4:37:13 PM
Oh wow! This is sooooo good! Keep going! I love it!

--
Love is...giving someone a chance to destroy you, and trusting them not to...
~bellacullen124:iconbellacullen124: Apr 4, 2008, 4:45:14 PM
thnx, glad u liked it.

--
Save the vamps! [link]

Jesus Christ is my savior. And i'm not afraid to say it.

My twilight fan fic [link] now read it!
~Undiscoveredwings:iconUndiscoveredwings: Apr 4, 2008, 7:13:09 PM
wow this is really good and original. im only on chapter 2 tho.

--
Can you understand my meaning hidden in the roses around my eyes - SG
~bellacullen124:iconbellacullen124: Apr 4, 2008, 7:27:53 PM
Thnx. If u go to my gallery there's a part 1 where u can get chapters 1-9. I find it easier to read that way. :-)

--
Save the vamps! [link]

Jesus Christ is my savior. And i'm not afraid to say it.

My twilight fan fic [link] now read it!
~Lialice:iconLialice: Apr 5, 2008, 3:26:55 PM Mood: Eye Candy
W-O-W!!
One of the best fanfics I've ever read! OMG, I just sat in front of my computer for like half an hour and couldn't stop reading!

--
My Twilight Fanfics: [link]
[link]

I don't know, they got brooms...

*official Fanpire*
~bellacullen124:iconbellacullen124: Apr 5, 2008, 4:05:29 PM
thnx

--
Save the vamps! [link]

Jesus Christ is my savior. And i'm not afraid to say it.

My twilight fan fic [link] now read it!
~Undiscoveredwings:iconUndiscoveredwings: Apr 5, 2008, 5:31:26 PM
wow this is good. i just finished this page. ok im confused about the beginning of chapter seven? its a memory rite? then y is aro there? and y is she in pain for 3 days when she was arguing with edward about him not changing her? is it like 3 memories combine??

--
Can you understand my meaning hidden in the roses around my eyes - SG
~bellacullen124:iconbellacullen124: Apr 5, 2008, 5:37:44 PM
it was kind of like a memory inside a memory. like while she was being changed she was rememboring what happened with Edward, then she was remembering that. Aro is there because of what happened between her Edward. If u read the rest of the chapters, you'll figure it out. I think in chapter 16.

--
Save the vamps! [link]

Jesus Christ is my savior. And i'm not afraid to say it.

My twilight fan fic [link] now read it!